Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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