Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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