He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
