Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
