I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
