he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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