I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
