So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
