Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
