did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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