I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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