I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
