just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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