we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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