Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's blow job season.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
