..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
