I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
