i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
