what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
