Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
