I faked an abortion last night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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