dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
