It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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