I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize