We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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