if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize