you win again, gameday.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
