just come out here and I will go home with you...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
