Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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