I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize