I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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