I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
