i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
