Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
