k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
