shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
