Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
