i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
