SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
my god I love twenty year old dicks
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
