Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
