This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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