Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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