none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
