just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
