do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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