He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
