My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
