your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
