So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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