do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
