I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
