I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
