Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
