the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
