Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
