WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
