It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
